For once

I don't know.

The great escape to Spain with my girls is going to take place in about 36 hours.
That is not long, and considering that I shall make a list of all the stuff I need to do in that time.

• Shave, exfoliate and moisturise every inch of my fragile skin. Apart from my head.


• Fake tan my legs, arms, shoulders, neck and boobs with precision. I can afford to cock up on the stomach as there is not a snowballs chance in hell I am wapping that out.


• Buy mother a beautiful potted plant that she can keep in the garden and look after, along with a nice card.


• Buy 7 disposable cameras.


• Sort my hair out so that it looks suitable.


• Start sleeping again and when I do, try not to wake up within an hour.


• If I do the above, could I also remind myself not to have really trippy dreams about people that seem really realistic. Thanks.

I am beyond excited though.
I'm even excited for waking up at the crack of dawn to get on that godforsaken plane!

Feeling the love for

Rpbbie Williams.
What a piece of shit song, I love it!



Don't kick my dog, dickhead
Don't beep at me, dickhead
Why d'you mug me off in my car, dickhead?
Why you disrespecting my bra, dickhead?
Theres a dickhead in you're mouth
A dickhead on parade
Do not have kids Don't want dickheads to be made, dickhead

Why you disrespecting my bra dickhead?
Why d'you piss me off in first class dickhead?
I'm not sitting here to be treated like a dickhead
Bumba Clart, kin' Raas Clart
Where's the Chorus dickhead?

[Chorus]
Isn't it lovely, that we can still be good friends
They say you've gone off me, don't be so sloppy..baby
Isn't it Lovely, that we can still be good friends
I know you still want me, cos I'm so lovely...baby

If you diss me you'll sell copy, dickhead
What d'you expect, dickhead
Radiohead, dickhead
This is pop, dickhead
Size tens, dickhead
Break you're shins, dickhead
My security are a vicious crew
They'll kick fuck out of you
Only if I ask them to,
But they'll kick fuck out of you
You're going home in a Stafordshire Ambulance

I wasn't looking at ya' bird, dickhead
She was looking at me, dickhead
Who do I think I am, dickhead?
Who the fuck are you, dickhead?
You must have me confused
With someone who gives a shit
I've found the dickhead of the year
And you are fucking it dickhead
Where's the chorus?..
No chorus?..
Dickhead

[Chorus]

Why d'you cut me up in my car, dickhead?
Why d'you say bad things 'bout my bra, dickhead?
I've got nothing for you, dickhead
Go to bed, dickhead
Don't wake up, dickhead
Who gives a fuck, dickhead
No one gives a fuck about you cos you're a dickhead true
See your mate over there in the corner he's a dickhead too like you, dickhead.

[Chorus]

Still no sleep.

I am dying.
My body cannot physically take this abuse.
I can't wait to have the house to myself tomorrow.

Bollocks.

Apparently 12 Michael Jackson fans have topped themselves since the news of his death.
Its pathetic.
Ok, fair dos, I know how amazing he was as a person and how much his music impacted the world, being a long-term fan myself.
But seriously, people are killing themselves over someone they had most likely never met/never known.

And what about their families?!

Even if they didn't give a shit about their families or whatever they should have atleast thought about the fact that he wouldn't have wanted them to die.



People really confuse me sometimes.