Black hair.

Read the saddest book today as well.
Funny but sad.

Decided

roughly a week or so ago that I don't give a shit what you do.
Do whatever, have fun, laugh about, cop off with as many people as you like.
I don't care anymore.
There is literally no point.

I'll be a good friend to you, and I know you're there for me when I need you, which is good because i'm here for you too.
But I can't carry on thinking something will happen when there isn't that spark between us anymore because you keep avoiding me.
You've made it clear you want nothing to do with me in that way, so i'm going to respect your decision and think about myself and my happiness and my feelings.

My summer started two days ago, and I will enjoy myself if it kills me.
Had a lovely chilled night last night, getting high, eating/talking about/dancing to/drinking everything with Chlo.
We went back to mine, had Nutella sandwiches and we fell asleep on the sofa, I fell asleep first halfway through Saw V.

I may watch all the Saw movies today, actually.
Got buggerall else to do.

No sign

of mid-week blues, I'm so happy it feels like it should be a friday.
The weather is more on the shite side but I don't caaaaaaare.

The start of the week was pretty grim as I got into loads of shit for not going to lessons, so I spent hours and hours working to make up for it (which I would NEVER usually do, lemme tell yer) and it's all paid off.
Also, work has been stressing me out as I haven't been in AGES and I was scared they'd have a go at me but I texted one of my bosses today and she was so great, she just told me to call her and we can fit in hours arounf my schedule.
Sure there's drama with people at sixthform (which is fuckall to do with me, but it still effects me if that makes sense) but whateverrrrr man, I don't caaaaare.
Just so happy.

There's a certain thing that's been annoying me for a couple of days doe.
Did you really mean it or were you just pissed?
Arr, fuck it I can't be arsed.
Whatever happens, happens.
I'm just gonna chiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllll and take life as it comes.

So happy and stressfree.

Gonna go work on my art now, I have a few quality pieces but I'm gonna leave it a bit before I get any scans up.
Wanna do some more so it looks more impressive;)

If you could

fuck off for good, that would make my life practically perfect.
Cheers.

Why I don't keep a diary.

-Too easy to lose.
You pour your heart and soul into a few pages that can easily be lost or stolen or placed into the wrong hands.

-They remind you too much of your own mortality.
Pages can be ripped, burnt, ruined by rain, scrumpled up.
Paper is bio-degradable.
Your memories etc won't live on for thousands of years and inspire millions after you die. And you probably won't be remembered.
There was only one Anne Frank.

-They're too finite. The past, believe it or not, can change.
You can look back at a situation and see it through different eyes to how you did at the time.
But all you will have is a memory of how you felt/were before, and it can have a series of negative effects, because no matter how much you scribble it out, it'll still be there.

Interesting.

Been watching Shameless for the past 2 hours.
Reminds me of my old accent.

Just had some 25 year old tattoo artist asking me to go for a coffee with him, giving me his number.
I think he has a kid.
Why do I attract men with children, seriously?!
That's twice this fucking year!
He said I was "gorgeous", though.
That was nice.

Tomorrow I'm going to Birmingham Uni to look around and gather prospectuses.
I planned my outfit and i'm gonna be scouting for cuties.

I'm gonna wear grey denim shorts, aged and ripped with a plain white shirt tucked in.
Then my pale coral lace cropped blazer, black wooden rosary beads and my house-key necklace.
My hair will be clipped back loosely and i'll wear my standard red lippie.
Black tights and pale cream lace-up shoes.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, everything is looking up!


Oh, and I learned how to say "cunt" in sign language.
Fannnnnntastic!

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

CAN'T BE FUCKED WITH YOU
KNOW WHY?
ALL YOU DO IS BITCH AND MOAN OR FLIRT WITH ME.
OR ALL THREE TOGETHER.
YOU ATTEMPT TO BULLSHIT BUT I SEE STRAIGHT THROUGH YOU.
AND YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE ME ANYWAY, WHY BOTHER?!



Just fucking fuck off.
I don't need someone like you around, with all your fucking baggage.